Depression, you are going DOWN

Depression, take a good look at these shoes. Why? Because they are going to kick your backside so hard you’ll never want to come back.

They may just be a pair of running shoes, but there is something special about them. They are the shoes I’ll be wearing as I train for the Jane Tomlinson Run For All 10K in York this August, and on the day itself.

Not the most remarkable sporting feat you’ve ever heard of, I know, but this is more than just a run for me. This is personal.

I’ve done the York 10K twice before.

In 2009, before stress and depression entered my life, I trained well and enjoyed the event. I surprised myself by finishing in under an hour.

In 2010, I felt nothing, like I was running on autopilot, and when I found my time was slightly slower than the year before, depression mocked me and told me it wasn’t good enough. I had failed, and I lost what was left of my enthusiasm for running – and most other things. I just couldn’t see the point.

When I eventually returned to running at the end of last year, I vowed to get my own back on depression. Not only would I do the 10K again, I would take the opportunity to raise money that would help other people with depression.

The Blurt Foundation’s online mentoring scheme is a fantastic, free, confidential resource for people with depression. You’re assigned a mentor who understands depression because they’ve experienced it themselves.

When I need extra support and want to blurt something out, I turn to my mentor, who gets what I’m chuntering on about and helps me put it into perspective and to think things through. It has helped me to cope and ride the storm.

So, sporting my Blurt ‘Run it out’ T-shirt and wearing my new running shoes, I am aiming to raise £1,000 towards the mentoring scheme and to take my vengeance on depression.

Depression walked all over me and trampled my self-esteem under its big, black boots. This is payback time.

Every time I make the effort to go running, it’s a mental victory for me over my shadowy nemesis. Every step I run is a kick up his posterior. Every pound I raise will be a punch in his vile mouth. I am going to hit depression where it hurts, over and over and over again – just like it did to me.


12 Comments on “Depression, you are going DOWN”

  1. Wonderful post! Good luck on your training! I know you’ll do great!

  2. Sam Tolley says:

    I have sponsored you. Your blog is amazing. I share it with friends and colleagues and with Gloucester & District Samaritans and 2gether NHS Foundation Trust. Perhaps you could visit our Facebook pages and contribute or comment. Very best of luck.

  3. good luck Paul. My 10k run is monday and i cant wait to kick depressions ass as well!

  4. […] Original post: <b>Depression</b>, you are going DOWN | Dippyman […]

  5. Mr Els says:

    Read your post and directly related to it. I have always suffered with mild anxiety and it has shaped a lot of my decisions in life. Running for me has always been my savior. I have to admit without going into too much detail that at times battling negative irrational thought has been quite tough. It is only because of experiencing it before that you know you will eventually ride the darker times out. In short sometimes it makes me feel a million miles away from the family but then you return back into the room and life is great.

    All you can do is keep battling and never give up and maybe that is the meaning of life for people who suffer mental problems, never to stop until they drop. Anyway good post keep on running.

  6. Let me introduce myself. My name is Andrew Richardson and I am a counsellor/psychotherapist who is trained in the Human Givens approach and has a successful entirely private practice in East London.

    I specialise in helping with depression and anxieties and find that most depressed (and anxious) clients will recover or certainly feel a lot better within a handful of sessions. I am not claiming any special magical gifts as the Human Givens have a very clear understanding of what causes these mental problems and how they can be relieved. Moreover, HG has an evidence base of success (including a peer reviewed paper in the British Psychological Society) and despite being pretty new (dating just from the late 1990s) is already on the cusp of recognition by the NHS and NICE.

    From where I sit, I see so much misunderstanding and rubbish talked about depression and how “hard” is recovery. This includes official and semi official websites. And there are private blogs and forums, for sufferers of depression which reinforce this negative and defeatist attitude to depression. That depression is an epidemic, with many causes (genetic, medical, existential and social) and it is all very deep and hard to understand – and so on. And so we must all tiptoe around quietly and trust the medical “experts”..

    But this is just not so for the large majority of those suffering depression. I know this not just because I understand what HG says but because of my direct experience as a therapist and those of other HG therapists.

    In my frustration I have started a Depression Help Blog – linked to my very comprehensive website –

    Here you will find a subtly different tone. This may reflect my background. Now 64 years, I was in business for most of my adult life rather than the caring/counselling profession and I have never suffered from problematic mental and emotional difficulties. It is self evident from my work that this does not disqualify me.

    What I find is that my message is just not getting through to the wider online “depression” community. It is as if my message is like an incompatible skin graft. And what is the message? It is that depression is linked to exhausting over dreaming and that it is no big deal (in most cases) to get relief – if you see someone who knows what they are doing and can get to the heart of the matter. Is the message too upbeat and too much against the defeatist conventional view I ask myself?

    Could you look at my website and blog? And if you can endorse the ideas and the website then that would be great or at least publicise them. We are talking about many people in this country – maybe millions who are suffering needlessly and who are being seriously misled. It is almost as if there is a conspiracy of suffering.

    • paulbrook76 says:

      Hi Andrew
      Thanks for this. It’s really interesting. I can’t go so far as to endorse your work because I would never endorse something I haven’t tried myself, but I would be happy to share the link on Twitter and see what other people think.
      I actually find that the groups and bloggers I am in touch with are very positive about taking on depression, but of course that is not universal.
      All the best

      • Hi Paul,
        Yes of course you cannot endorse me but the more you can do to expose those who follow you who are depressed to the simple ideas contained in my blog and by the human givens – the better.

        What I find with those I help get over depression is that to be exposed to the human givens explanation – which is around exhausting dreaming and stuck rumination – is a light bulb moment for them. And from that moment, progress is typically swift. That is why I also insist that they listen regularly to my beat depression mp3 –

        And of course if they contact me I can probably help them – either in the flesh or using Skype.
        best wishes

  7. […] was full of fighting talk before the run. “You’re going down,” I told Brookes. This was personal – my first 10K since 2010. Every step I took, every penny I […]

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